How Often Should You Go to Couples Therapy?
When you first start couples therapy, it might feel like you have a long road ahead—kind of like going to the gym for the first time or recovering from an injury with physical therapy. At first, you may need consistent effort, structured sessions, and expert guidance to build better habits. Over time, though, the process shifts—it’s less about fixing problems and more about maintaining a healthy relationship.
So, how often should you go to couples therapy? The answer depends on where you are in your relationship and what you need from therapy. Let’s break it down.
Couples Therapy is Like Going to the Gym
Think about the last time you committed to a fitness goal. In the beginning, you probably had to:
🏋️ Show up regularly to build strength and endurance.
🥗 Make major adjustments to your routine, like eating healthier or changing your habits.
⏳ Put in the work before you saw results.
Couples therapy works the same way. At first, you may need frequent sessions to break old patterns and build new, healthier relationship habits. But once you gain the right tools and skills, you won’t need therapy as often—it becomes more about maintaining a healthy balance, just like staying active after reaching a fitness goal.
How Often Should You Go?
The frequency of couples therapy depends on a few factors:
✅ Are you facing serious challenges?
✅ Do you and your partner struggle with communication?
✅ Are you in crisis mode, or are you looking for general relationship maintenance?
Here’s a general guideline for how often to attend:
🏃 Phase 1: Starting Out (Weekly Sessions)
🗓 1x per week for the first 8-12 weeks
At the beginning of therapy, you and your partner are learning new skills, breaking unhealthy patterns, and working through deeper issues. Weekly sessions provide:
✔ Consistent progress and accountability.
✔ A safe space to navigate conflicts in real time.
✔ Stronger relationship muscles—just like starting a gym routine.
For couples in crisis or dealing with serious challenges like infidelity, trust issues, or constant fighting, twice-a-week sessions may be necessary in the first month or two.
💪 Phase 2: Strengthening the Relationship (Biweekly Sessions)
🗓 Every other week for the next 2-4 months
Once couples start improving their communication, conflict resolution, and emotional connection, therapy shifts from crisis management to relationship strengthening.
✔ Less frequent sessions allow you to practice new skills independently.
✔ You’re still checking in and making adjustments with your therapist.
✔ More space between sessions means you can see how well your relationship tools are working in everyday life.
🏡 Phase 3: Maintenance Mode (Monthly Sessions or As Needed)
🗓 1x per month or only when needed
At this stage, couples therapy becomes like maintaining a healthy lifestyle—it’s not about fixing problems, but about staying strong together. Think of it like a personal trainer you see occasionally to keep your fitness on track.
✔ You’ve learned how to resolve conflicts on your own.
✔ You’re maintaining healthy communication habits.
✔ You check in with your therapist only when needed—maybe every few months or once a year for a relationship "tune-up."
Some couples never stop therapy entirely—they use it like a "gym membership" for their relationship, checking in when life gets stressful or when they need an emotional reset.
Can You Take a Break From Therapy?
Yes! Once you and your partner feel confident applying what you’ve learned, you can pause sessions and return as needed. But just like stopping workouts or eating unhealthy for too long, ignoring your relationship health for months or years can lead to issues creeping back in.
Consider returning to therapy if:
⚠ You find yourselves falling into old patterns of arguing or miscommunication.
⚠ A major life event or stressor puts pressure on your relationship (moving, having a baby, job changes, etc.).
⚠ You feel disconnected and need a structured way to rebuild intimacy.
Think of therapy as a lifelong tool, not a one-time fix.
Final Thoughts: How Often Should You Go to Couples Therapy?
Just like building physical strength or recovering from an injury, improving your relationship takes time, effort, and consistency. At first, therapy may require weekly sessions to rebuild trust, fix communication issues, and resolve conflicts. Over time, though, it becomes more about maintenance—checking in occasionally to keep your relationship healthy and strong.
Every couple’s journey is different, so the best frequency depends on your needs, goals, and relationship history. What matters most is putting in the effort, practicing what you learn, and making your relationship a priority.
Need Couples Therapy in New Jersey?
At Bridging Bonds, we offer expert couples counseling near Montclair, NJ, helping partners strengthen their connection and navigate challenges together.
